A Touching Letter from Our Missionary in Sweden

Our heart has been heavy, at the loss of one of Kinsey's fellow missionaries in Sweden a week ago.  We could feel her pain and sorrow at losing a friend whom she had known and been close to.  Elder Mason Bailey was from Richfield, Utah and had been in Kinsey's group at the MTC and had worked in the same zone as she had in Sweden.  He was struck by a car while he and his companion were walking to an appointment.

We love our missionary granddaughter and are so proud of her strength and desire to serve the God she loves so much and his children.

Kinsey Eborn kinsey.eborn@myldsmail.net	5:28 AM (4 hours ago)
to Jared, Shana, Katie, Emily, Melissa, Samuel, me, Anthony, Natalie, Trello, Walter, Jackie, Rachel, Michael, Cameron, Alyse, Alyssa, Deborah, Derek, Skyler, Daniel, Jake, Jaclyn, Brett, Miriah

Hey guys, sorry for the dramatic nature of last weeks email. I hope you haven't been too worried about me, and I'm sorry for the lack of detail provided! I was just in shock that morning, and unable to function beyond that point. I will, somehow, write you about the previous week. Possibly in a written letter. But I'll try to be thorough this week.

Monday, March 3rd 2014

I woke up and starting cleaning as usual. We were jamming out to the Lower Lights (not so subtle or tackful hint: that cd would be most excellent for easter) when we heard the phone ding with a text from the office. I read it, and started crying. It was about 7:40 in the morning. And that kind of marked the rest of the day. My MTC district had a conference call which was very nice, and I got a priesthood blessing later that afternoon from one of the elders. I'm going to miss Mason Bailey, he was a very good friend to me. But I felt a lot of comfort and assurance and I know it is okay. The start of the week, however, did color the rest of my week, and the nature of most lessons.

Later monday evening, we had a lesson with a new investigator, Faten, who just told us about her life problems and shared that she missed feeling close to God in her life. We invited her to read, which she says she has no time for, to pray, which is just too difficult for her, and invited her to come to church. Also no time for that.

Sigh.

People. Salvation is yours for the taking. Not ours for the forcing. A relationship with God is between you and Him. Not between you and us. I promise. If you want to come closer to God, do it throught the scriptures, prayer, and obedience; not settling for a relationship with a 19 year old girl from America. I'm not anyone perfect or Holy. I'm just someone who KNOWS about He who is perfect and Holy.

But because her son would like to come to church for the classes there, we will we walking with her to church on future Sundays.

We had a better evening, however, meeting with the Kojo family. We had a good FHE all together, talking about the Restoration of the Gospel, and then playing card games. The kids love the American Game, BS. We decided not to tell them what BS stands for. This faily is so sweet. I just want them to be fully active and partake of the blessings of the temple. They have strong testimonies, just a hard time coming to church because they aren't in the habit.

Tuesday, March 4th 2014

Did you know that almost every lesson we had planned today blowsted? This is why we have backup plans, I guess! 

We trakted our building and found a cute couple on the 7th floor, who pretty much only understood that we talk about Jesus Christ. We'll visit them again, this time with more Arabic materials. I'm telling you, they should have taught me Arabic in the MTC. Anyone who can speak Swedish, can speak English. Incidentally, most swedes are also uninterested in religion. It's the foreigners we need to communicate with.

Then we went to the church to meet with someone. Well, he never showed up, so we ended up teaching the member we had brought along about the Plan of Salvation in regards to Elder Baileys passing. It was a good stund to discuss the complexities of Gods plan. We don't always understand everything that happens, but we do know that nothing happens arbitrarily. Which is a great comfort.

Afterwards, we were cancelled on by two other people, so we went to visit an older woman who we sing to and read scriptures to for service!

After a quick meeting with our ward misison leader, we went to visit the Dolmaya family! That was really fun. We had yummy food, watched mormon messages, and reminded Nabil about how great the church is while pumping up Judy for her upcoming baptism! It pumped me up, too, to be honest.

Wednesday, March 5th 2014

We met with Kirsi, the less active member who has a testimony and lives every commandment but the sabbath day. It's funny how going to church is such a stumbling block for people. Honestly, Sunday worship and temple work is kind of the heart of our religion. We created a plan with Kirsi to help her achieve her OWN goals. It includes scripture study, missionary lessons, and, of course, church. 

Then we met with Jacques and taught him about the Restoration! I love teaching the Restoration and seeing peoples eyes focus in because it clicks in their head that, wait, you're claiming to be the one true church on the earth with the Gospel in it's entirety?

YES. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE SAYING. 

We are not just another church that teaches good principles. We are not suggesting things that might improve your life. We are not cute. We are not fuzzy. We are messengers from God on an errand to invite others move forward on the path that leads to living with Heavenly Father. We do this
1. Because we have a sacred calling from God and
2. Because we KNOW IT IS TRUE.
I would not be in Sweden thousands of miles away from home, comfort, and decent mexican food if I didn't think that the principles I am teaching were ABSOLUTELY VITAL for the eternal peace and happiness of my brothers and sisters. I wouldn't be here if I thought that they were just 'nice,' 'comforting,'uplifting,' or 'helpful.' I am ONLY here because they are necessary. I simply would not force myself throught this experience otherwise.

But guess what, I don't want a single person I talk to to believe me. I want them to listen, to question, and to ask God if this crazy chick from Utah actually knows something. And I want them to be dazzled with the realization that what we had shared is true. I want their converstion to be between them and God, just as I want every step that they take to be motivated by their own desire.

People. Stop being stupid. Stop holding yourself back from blessings. Search, ponder, pray, and with the brilliant knowledge and testimony that comes from your acquisition of truth, partake of the goodness of this Gospel.

So, Jacques said he'll do that. Good. Do it, bro.

After, we went to visit an older member of the church. This lady has got clue. She had invited several people who she'd met at the library and on the bus to come over and listen to the missionaries with her. No, they didn't come, but it's the thought that counts.

Then we went to visit this cute family with Nabil and Judy as translators. The lesson went really well, and the whole family was really listening! Yay!

Thursday, March 6th 2014

*We visited a bunch of less active members which made me realize something I hadn't really wanted to realize:

The kind of missionary work I do might not be what this ward needs. I am aggressive with contacting, teaching, and inviting. This worked well in Malmö, in a ward that was ready for new converts and needed them. But Norrköping is different. They can't really handle that right now. what they need is some hard core strengthening. The 'active members' only come to church every few weeks, and are unable to fellowship any investigators brought. It's disorienting for the investigators, hard to build connections, and it's overwhelming for the ward members. 

And it's humbling for this missionary, who is realizing that she needs to slow down and put her energy and efforts in different areas of the work.

Point in case, we visited Kulette and her whole klan. Who all have a testimony of the restoration, and love everything we teach them. But they don't feek comfortable in church, because there is no form of a translating system, and nobody talks to them and they don't feel welcome. It breaks my heart, that the openness of the ward is what holds them back. We will now be printing out general conference talks in arabic for them to read if the talks during sacrament are too difficult to understand, and try to do more to accomodate them.*

The next two days had a highlight, but mostly everything just fell through and I was kind of down.

But we had a really great lesson with Amer!

We walked and talked with Amer, who loves everything we've taught and taught himself the law of chastity while we were with him. 

"I just think it's dumb to have sex before marraige. What do you get if you've been with a hundred girls? Nothing but heartache, problems, and stress. But when you wait for just ONE girl, you get a family and the best happiness."

Amer, why aren't you a missionary?!" We invited him to pray and read to know if he should get baptized. He was pretty caught off guard with the invitation, but he said that he would. We'll find out...

Another random side note, I'm still bad at riding bicycles. Really bad. We busted out the bikes for the first time this week, and my poor companion had to wait at the top of every hill as I huffed and puffed behind her. Yay exercise..

Everything pretty much led up to the memorial. All week, I had been feeling, frustrated and tense. I wanted to be able to let myself feel upset, to let myself mourn and be sad, but there simply wasn't time. There was too much to do. I had just been holding it all off, and feeling dissatisfied with everything. It didn't make sense to me that the whole world wouldn't stop, and that I seemed to be alone in my grief. *The feelings were epitomized when another missionary in a neighboring area innocently expressed 'how excited she was for this Sundays memorial! It would feel just like a zone conference, and so much fun.'*

I would have loved to be anywhere but the memorial. If I had not been asked to participate in the program, I very likely would not have gone. I thought I would find more solace in working hard in my own area. However, I went. And I'm glad I did. It was a beautiful memorial. I was grateful to take the sacrament, and feel the Atonement still my soul. I was grateful to hear Masons last journal entry, written minutes before his death, testifying of the truthfulness of the gospel and of his purpose as a missionary. I was grateful to mourn with my friends who also knew and appreciated him. And I was grateful for the peace I felt there. I know I will be just fine, because I know that HE is just fine. He's in the Spirit World, continuing on the work of his mission.

I also know that this Gospel is true. I encourage all who read and hear my voice to ponder what Christs role in their lives is. I invite everyone to read the Bible and the Book of Mormon, and pray to know of their truthfulness. Pray to know everyday. And then do something about it. Don't let the knowledge that you have lie in your soul collecting dust. Don't set aside your testimony in order to partake in worldly distractions. There is no peace of comfort or joy in that. Allow the glory of the gospel to carry you through every day, on days when you have no strength to carry yourself, and on days when perhaps you can carry others.

I love this Church, and I love my Savior.

And I love you all.

Syster Eborn